Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Love Day. I’d like to boycott the whole thing. (Sorry to anyone who is a big fan, but Dean and I are both of the same opinion on this one. You can take it or leave it… or just not read any further.)
Every day should be about love. 365 days a year. Not just one.
Despite letting our kids in on our thoughts on this one, for now, the boycott is only involving Dean and I. Our kids are happily choosing cards to give to their classmates, and Audra is picking out her all-pink Valentine’s Day ensemble. Perhaps in subconscious boycott of it all, I forgot to pick up cards for them when I was out earlier. I know there are all kinds of left overs somewhere in our house from previous years… but finding them is another issue altogether. Luckily Dean was able to score a few dusty boxes that the convenience store had stored out back – and even better, the kids liked them.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the kids having a little fun. (Other than another excuse for sugar at school, I guess) But it does irk me somewhat to think how sad it is that so many people think that making a big deal of their relationships every once in a while lets them off the hook for the rest of the year. Do I care about chocolates, flowers or cards? Or jewelry, for that matter? No.
I care that I have a husband who lets me know every day that I am loved and beautiful. I care that compliments are a daily part of my life. I care that we enjoy each others’ company. I care that my husband knows and understands me better than any other person in my life. I care that we are free to be ourselves in our relationship, and have never tried to change each other. I care that we have been married for more than ten years that we would do it all again tomorrow. I care that our children are growing up in a home that is based on love, mutual respect and togetherness.
We are not perfect – but then again, I personally don’t think a “perfect relationship” exists. Mostly because I don’t believe that people are perfect. But when we can let go of trying to be impossibly perfect, maybe we can build as strong a relationship as possible. Accepting the ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses is part of the deal. Relationships take work. You don’t get to choose just the good parts. But you can choose how well you love someone- and how well you love yourself.
I consider it a huge accomplishment that we got through our early years with young babies (and no family close by) – growing closer and stronger as a couple. Maybe those years of sleep deprivation and busy-ness just showed us that the most important parts of our life are right there in front of us, every single day. And so, for us, celebrating love only one day a year is quite simply a form of neglect. (and don’t get me started on the gross commercialism of it all)
My wish for our children is for them to grow up witnessing a loving relationship. My wish is that they are filled with self love, spend their lives bringing more of it into the world, and one day, when the times comes, find someone to mirror that same love back to them.
My hope for the world is that interactions and decisions both large and small will be made more and more from a place of love, acceptance and connectedness. My hope for every person is that they go through their days feeling loved, supported, heard, and adored. My hope for every person is that they live a life full of love, kindness, and contribution.
What a world that would be.
Like I said, take it or leave it. Either way, for Valentines’ Day, and every day – I wish you love.