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Mom on Purpose

~ The lofty side of this is that I am a mom on a mission. I am striving to create a better world by being the best, most inner-directed mother I know how to be. The other side of this is that I became a mom… on purpose. Meaning, I chose this. But man, it can be hard.

Mom on Purpose

Category Archives: Eating by Design

Top 9 Tips to Feed your Family Well

19 Sunday Jan 2014

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in Creating Health, Eating by Design, in8 Mama: Deviating from the Mainstream, Raising Independent Thinkers

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Feeding a family; healthy meals; paleo; eating by design

“Mom, I’m really glad you’re a chiropractor.  But I wish I could eat the same foods as everyone else.  It’s not really fair, you know.”  This was Audra’s comment to me yesterday as we were driving, following her question of why I don’t agree with the Canada Food Guide.  “I’ve have studied the human body and nutrition for years,” I answered. “I have different information about food and health, and it often leads us to make different choices for our family.”

Her comments were not a surprise to me, as I’m aware that both our kids sometimes wish I didn’t have quite such strong feelings about our food choices.  But before I could say anything, she finished her thought with an observation that negated the need for me to say much of anything else: “But you know”, she pondered, “We really don’t get sick all the time like everyone else.”

So instead of launching into a long, detailed discussion of nutrition, all I had to do was acknowledge that I heard her, and remind her of what I believe to be true: “Feeding you well is part of my ‘mom job’ – to love you, keep you safe and keep you healthy.”

That ended the conversation, but not the never-ending journey of feeding our family well.  We work hard to buy quality foods from as many local sources as possible.  Our staples are meat and veggies, fruit, nut & seeds, full-fat dairy and healthy fats.  We avoid /minimize processed foods, packaged meals, sugar, gluten, breads & pastas – all because we want to fuel our family with the most nutrient-dense foods, and to help them develop a taste for real food.   We want them to understand how essential their food choices are to their health and wellbeing, as well as to their growth and performance in school and in sports – and in life in general.

And yet, our dedication to healthy eating is another way that we do things against the grain (no pun intended).  While we are far from the only families that eat this way, it certainly is not how most people approach food. (or what is recommended by Health Canada, unfortunately)  Sometimes this can be hard, especially since we don’t want to make our kids feel so different that they feel weird or left out.  And we don’t want to be so rigid that they rebel completely as they get older and even more independent.

The truth is that some days it would be easier to be blissfully unaware of all the information we have.  Some days it would be easier to throw a package in the microwave.  Or make a sandwich for lunch. Or go through a drive through for dinner.

But at the end of the day, easier isn’t what drives us.  We want to give our kids the best chance possible at vibrant, lifelong health – plus an understanding of how smart their bodies are and how incredibly amazing they are.

Over the years, we’ve faced quite an evolution with this.  Admittedly, my own understanding of nutrition has changed over the years as well – which means that the choices we made years ago differ from the ones we make now.  Both in my practice and in our home, I’ve had to admit to my past mistakes, while explaining that with new information, we make new choices.

When our kids were younger, in many ways it was easier because we were involved in every food that passed their lips.  We were present at every party and social event.  We could ‘ok’ anything they ate at school and they were too young to spend time at friend’s houses without one of us being there.  It was easy to oversee it all.

But as they’ve gotten older, there are many more times that they are not with us.  And just as I’ve found with virtually every parenting issue, as they gain more independence, we have to accept that they are going to be in many situations to make decisions where we will not be present. 

So as parents, we have to put our trust in them, and in the job we have done in teaching them WHY we make the choices we do.  (When this comes to food, I know I will cringe at times to hear what they may eat elsewhere, but I know that I am already losing some control of that.)  And as with every parenting issue, we have to ask ourselves if we’ve done the best we can to provide them with a solid foundation for making their own choices and hope (trust) that with this securely in place, more often than not their choices will be made in their best interest.  (Let’s get real here – we’re talking about food, but I feel the same about how they will fare with situations in the coming teen years like drinking & drugs, sex, and handling all manners of potentially challenging situations.)

So other than our recurring conversations about health and food – and an understanding of WHY we avoid certain foods, like junk food, processed foods, bread, and heaps of sugar – we’ve had to come up with ways to get our kids on board with our choices.  Here are a few that have helped:

1 – We teach them how amazing their bodies are.  Our two foundational statements have always been “My body is smart.”  and “I am amazing.” We teach them how foods affect their bodies and their brains – and explain how that relates to every aspect of their life: from school, sports, learning, energy, growing, creativity, to simply being the best they can be.

2  – They help plan meals. I often throw out suggestions of what I might make that week and get feedback from them if there is anything they’d like to add.  We try new recipes, look at cooking books or websites together, or pick out new things in the grocery store.

3 – They help out in the kitchen. Whether it’s making scrambled eggs for breakfast, whipping up a batch of guacamole, or chopping veggies for dinner that night, Ethan and Audra are frequent sous-chefs in our household.  Ethan often talks about the possibility of being a chef – and if his love of eating is an accurate measure, this would be a great example of following a passion for him.  (Although he did ask me the other day if I would be upset if he made meals I didn’t think were healthy.  To which I responded – “No, I just would choose to eat the ones that were.”  And that satisfied him, although I’ll admit that I hope he follows our lead.)

4 – We give them choices.  While I refuse to make separate meals for our different taste buds, we do try at most meals to have at least 2 different veggie choices, and they have to have a helping of at least one.  Salad or asparagus.  Cauliflower or carrots.  (Our love of organic butter does help, as they will eat more vegetables when they are tossed in butter with a sprinkle of salt.)  And as parents, we eat it all, too!

5 – They have to try everything but we don’t force them to eat anything.  This has lead our kids to try lots of new foods, spices and flavours.  At ages 8 & 10, they both love sushi, thai food, indian cuisine and are game to experiment wonderfully.  I’ve gotten better over the years at choosing new recipes – but sometimes I have a back-up plan in place just in case my experiment is a flop.  (like last week’s spaghetti-squash casserole – which I served as one of several side-dish options amongst leftovers… just in case.  For the record, it was eaten by everyone, but not in large quantity.  Had I gone about this differently, I think I would have had some hungry and cranky kids later in the evening.  As it went, I enjoyed an easy addition to my breakfasts and lunches in the following days.)

6 – We set ‘rules’ for when we ease up on our normal habits.   Like after Hallowe-en, when for one week the kids get to pick 2 things a day for their lunch bags.  Or how they can eat what they want at a friend’s house – but draw the line at drinking pop. Or how they devoured their great-grandma’s perogies while in Edmonton, but avoided (or minimized) their consumption of bread.

7 – We look for healthier versions of foods they want.  This has lead to many baking experiments (which is not my forte) as Audra loves muffins and they both have somewhat of a sweet tooth.  Or like Ethan’s request to make eggs benedict – in which I substituted the english muffin for biscuits made with almond flour. (Next time I’m trying potato ‘pancakes’ instead).  Or along this line, I add pureed vegetables into many of our meals and sauces – like kale into virtually every sauce, meatball or soup!)

8 – We use the natural consequences of eating poorly to help them notice how they feel when they eat ‘off track’.  Ethan has had several experiences with this one, including a history of throwing up almost every time he has had a pop.  (While unpleasant to clean up, it’s more effective in helping him avoid pop than hearing me nagging in his head!)  And Audra will often get tummy aches and feel ‘yucky’ if she eats too much sugar, or eats bread while at friends’ houses.

It’s a little ironic to me to think that one of the most basic necessities of life – FOOD – can come with so much challenge as well as joy.  I know how hard it can be to feed a family well.  I know how confusing it can be to read so many conflicting views on nutrition.

This is what has worked so far in our home.  It takes time, commitment, planning and patience.  But just like we tell our kids – our reason WHY:  their lifelong health and wellbeing – makes it so incredibly worthwhile.

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Choosing Simplicity

08 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in Eating by Design, My Chiropractic Life, Thinking by Design

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Family Time and Meals, Simplicity, Teaching Kids, Values

Simplicity is something I value very highly in my life.  And this time of year, my commitment to keeping things simple leaves me feeling like I’m an observer:  watching the chaos of a storm from the cozy window of my own, simple life.

I will give some of the credit for my emphasis on simplicity to the families I took care of in my first few years of practice.  With kids too young to yet be into the holiday whirlwind, I was witness to the stories other parents told of kids with mountains of un-appreciated toys, older kids who wanted bigger and better every year, and the frantic haste to get to every last store.  Combined with clear signs of stress, fatigue and tension, I decided then and there that I didn’t want our holidays to fall into that pattern.  

Simple for me means that I don’t add in more than I can give my full attention to.  It means that I have a no-drama policy – both at home and in my practice. It means that we started our own family traditions on a small scale, emphasizing the joy in giving to others while being grateful for what we receive.  All with a very conscious effort to focus on the people around us, gratitude for the life that we have, and appreciation and attention paid to every gesture of kindness – including, of course, gifts.

This weekend was an example of simple.

Yesterday at work I could probably measure my success by two simple factors: the number of times I laughed, and the number of hugs I got.  My morning started with giving a report to a ten-year-old boy (and his mom, of course).  As is always the case, I spoke directly to him about what I noticed in his initial assessment.  I explained to him three simple concepts:

1 – your body is smart

2 – your brain and body need to ‘talk’ to work properly and

3 – if your brain-body connection isn’t clear, your smart body has a harder time working at its best.

With a wise nod of his head and a few insightful comments, he asked his final, amusingly off-topic questions:  “Dr. Amy, do you live in a big house?”  (this may have been my first laugh-out-loud moment of the morning) and “Dr. Amy, do you drive a ferarri?” (my second laugh). With a smile I replied: “No, I have a simple house, and no, I don’t drive a ferrari.  I don’t really care that much about those things.  The most important thing in my life is my family and spending time with them.  We like to do things like enjoy nature, hike and travel.” He left with a pondering expression on his face.  As for me, I was amused by his perceptions – and it left me thinking, too.

The truth is that the value I place on things is a far distant runner-up to the value I place on quality time and having experiences.  Even if we had all the money in the world, we wouldn’t live much differently than we do now.  We would travel more, give more, experience more.  Don’t get me wrong – I like material things, too.  I get great pleasure out of buying quality things for my kids.  And I love the idea of building our dream home in the upcoming years.  But without the context of who I would be enjoying those things with, they are empty for me.  Things may provide some pleasure to me – but they are not what motivates me. 

The other moments this weekend that filled me up included our annual Awesome by Design workshop.  We hosted thirteen kids (age 4-10) for 2 hours in the practice, while giving their parents a few hours to themselves.  We gave the kids the same simple message (repeat after me…) “My body is smart and I am AMAZING!” (really, what more do they need to know than that?!)  Our games followed that same theme.  Our snack was a build-your-own creation using fresh fruits, veggies and toothpicks.  And our craft was a self-decorated portrait with the same message as above.  It was seamless, fun, and full of laughter.  The only complaint was from the kids when they didn’t want to leave.

On the home front, the remaining focus of the weekend was on food.  While I place a very high value on health and nutrition, I also feel that when I make good quality meals for my family, I am nourishing them in ways that surpass the calories and nutrients.  I feel a deep contentment to know that with two crockpots going, there will be delicious soups for the kids’ lunches this week.  And it never ceases to amaze me how fulfilled I am by the simple act of putting food on the table.  With three lovely family meals together (steak and veggies; eggs, bacon and fruit; and chicken with roast veggies), I am filled up in all of the ways that matter.

It seems that at this time of year, we go somewhat into hibernation mode.  We stay put more often – and are happy to do so.  It just so happens that sometimes that lends itself to wonderful little moments of joy.  Like the surprise evening finale of our kids dimming the living room lights to put on a play for us with masks they discovered downstairs.  With the assurance that they will be planning lots of performances for us – complete with giggles and silliness – what more could we ask for?  Live theatre from the comfort of our own home.  Perfect.

Robinson live theatre performance

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Just a little wrong all day

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in Creating Health, Crossfit, Eating by Design, Moving by Design

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

crossfit, Eating by Design, Moving by Design

I think my theme today would be that I was just a little wrong.  All day.

It seems like everything I did was just a little off.  Not bad.  Just not quite right.

It started with my workout at Crossfit Bradford.  15 rope climbs interspersed with a lift called a snatch.  Now, I like rope climbs – like I wrote about in a previous blog... but I thought 7 in one workout was a lot. 15 might just be enough to be obscene, at least if you have the “not-quite-right” technique that I use.  I work way too hard, burn out my forearms, and don’t use the power of my legs to get me up the rope.  That would be just too easy, I guess.  But being the stubborn person that I can be, I think I got through them by sheer determination.  Slowly.

The ultimate “little bit wrong” was getting to the point of reaching within inches of the top at one point – I think it was on rope climb number 8 – and not being able to hold on for that one extra reach.  Unfortunately that’s considered a “no rep” in the crossfit world – which means that it simply doesn’t count.  So I ended up doing 16 *&%^%- ing rope climbs instead of 15… and on my last one it happened again.  Inches shy, and I just couldn’t hold on for that one last pull.

Without another thought, I called it a day – frustrated with my hands that wouldn’t grip anymore.  I guess I figured that I could count myself as completing the workout since I was only short by inches, making up for it with a whole other 15-foot rope climb (14 and a half to be exact).  For the first time in all of the 180+ workouts I’ve done there, I think I was beat.  Almost just didn’t quite cut it today.

To salvage my day, I decided to spend the rest of the day making meals for my family.  I get a great sense of accomplishment out of knowing that there are good, healthy meals sitting in my fridge or freezer.  Cooking isn’t rocket science.  It wouldn’t overtax me.  It would be perfect for my mood today.

And though it wasn’t all a flop, two more “little bit wrongs” rounded out the day.  First, I decided to make a grain-free pizza dough.  It took quite a bit of work, and certainly didn’t spread out that way it was supposed to (and stuck to the parchment paper, too – what a pain)  Looking at the itty-bitty pizza that was supposed to feed our whole family, I kind of hoped no one would like it… since there was no way that there would be enough to go around if my usually-ravenous crew wanted enough to fill their bellies.  Happily – and unfortunately – it was a hit.  But we ate it kind of like an appetizer.  Out came the leftover pulled pork from last night to make up the difference.  Not a flop, but not quite right… again.

Thinking I had just a little saving grace in the large pot of chili I was making on the stove to freeze, I took it easy on myself for the dinner fiasco.  Until, of course, I added in the spice mix for the chili (check out the one I usually use on Robb Wolf’s site if you’re interested). This winter I’ve been experimenting with making my own spice mixes, but have neglected to properly label them.  And voila – we have a new, unintentional experiment bubbling on our stove:  chili with Josh Rogan curry spices.  Might it be yummy?  Possibly.  That mix rocks when I put it in our favourite curried lamb stew.  But in chili?  I just don’t know.  For now, this final oops has rounded out my day of well-intended actions that went just a little awry.

I know I could focus on what I did well today, as I usually do.  But while I’m certainly not going to dwell on these little details, I think that I’m just going to accept that today, I was just a little bit off.  All day.

Tomorrow I’ll be stellar.

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Leftovers and Life Lessons

11 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in Eating by Design

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Cooking with Kids, Eating by Design

Today after school, Ethan announced that he wanted to make supper.  Awesome.  Definitely a tendency I want to nurture.  Except for one thing:  the fridge was already full of leftovers, and I hate to see food go to waste (especially when I have spent the time pre-making meals for the week)  What to do, what to do…

So here was our brainstorm:  use the leftovers to make a new meal.  Looking in the fridge, we had pulled pork, meatloaf, roast chicken and sauteed kale and mushrooms.

So we chopped up the meatloaf and chicken, added some fajita spices (I leave out the cornstarch and sugar), made some guacamole, and chopped the veggies.  In our family, “Eating by Design” means that we eat real food first, and consume minimal grains (though admittedly, Ethan ate wraps with this meal, Audra had corn tortilla shells, and I ate mine in lettuce leaves)  I try to follow the 80/20 rule with our eating, but in some cases, like this, we go a little off track.  All in all, it was dee-lish.

Sitting down to eat, I enjoyed watching their extra enthusiasm in eating the food they helped prepare.  I laughed out loud at Audra’s exclamation of excitement to give her lots of the sauteed kale and mushrooms (…!)  It seems as though they appreciate their food more when they help in the cooking, as if their effort makes them more mindful of what they are eating.  Their final touch was eating our dinner by candle light.

As we talked about their day, I laughed again as Ethan turned to Audra to ask her what her favourite part of the day was.  It was almost like watching a play.  Happily, it was real life, as we enjoyed an exceptionally connected dinner together. The only missing ingredient to our meal was Dean, who left this morning to visit his parents in Edmonton for a week.  And while our dinner was lovely,  I’m not delusional enough to think that being a single mom would always be as enjoyable.

So now the house is quiet as the kids have gone next door to play.  The candle is still burning, my belly is full of good food (I could definitely “taste the love”), and my fridge is almost cleaned out of leftovers.  All around good lessons.

However, what I am feeling the most is appreciation for the simple moments in life that become special.  Tonight’s dinner nourished my soul.

Image

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Cranky Mama

26 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in Eating by Design, Musings of a Manic Mama

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Tags

crankiness, Eating by Design

I have just removed myself from parenting duty.  I am too cranky to be a very nice or decent mom.  My patience level has been surpassed.

My ability to be patient is like a barrel.  As long as the barrel does not reach the top, I am fine.  But once that barrel starts to overflow, all of my patience runs out.   Out goes the patience, in comes the crankiness.

Perhaps in defiance of how tired I felt this morning, I decided to be ultra-productive today.  All told, I expect I spent at least four or five hours in the kitchen today, possibly more.  I am happy that we had delicious food – bacon and eggs for breakfast; a pureed cauliflower/vegetable soup for lunch (topped with cheese – yum), and a marinated pork roast with roasted veggies, sauteed red cabbage and green beans for dinner.

It can be one of those funny things after cooking a lot – I simultaneously reap pleasure from watching my family enjoy my food, all the while lamenting the fact that with their voracious appetites, my efforts will have short-lived benefits.  Left-overs seem to be non-existent in my house, no matter how much food I make.

Because of this, I decided that if I was going to spend time in the kitchen, I’d like to make more meals than what we’d be able to eat in one day.  And so, in the midst of preparing our meals for the day, I also made a beef stew, a shepherd’s pie, and gluten-free banana bread. It was a constant stream of chopping, stirring, co-ordinating, and washing  (all made more difficult by having no hot water… despite having a technician at the house the day before…  argh)

The downfall to this is that by the time 7pm rolled around, despite my belly being full, my patience barrel was overflowing.  I snapped at Audra.  I snapped at Ethan.  I was cranky to Dean.  (Dean sometimes laughs at me when I announce when I’m cranky.  He says I don’t act cranky, but then again, he can’t hear the thoughts going through my head. Fortunately, I keep most of those to myself.)

Perhaps it was a poor judgement call to not plan for a little more rest time.  I know that a part of this is being annoyed at myself for trying to do too much.  When I get like this I just need to have a little time when I am not needed by anyone.  PLEASE just let me sit, read a few pages from my book, go on the computer, or do something without someone needing me.  Even a few minutes to pretend that I’ve been leisurely all day can help me re-calibrate.

So now the kids are in bed, and I can let my cranky thoughts peter out.   So many times people (particularly in my practice) say they can’t picture me losing my calm or being cranky.  So here’s my admission: by the end of tonight, I was quite simply a Cranky Mama.

After writing this, I headed in to give Audra another hug. “Why did you come back in, Mommy?”  she asked sleepily. “Because I wanted to give you another kiss” I answered. “Oh, mommy, you’re the best” she said with a smile, cuddling back into her cozy bed.  Saying a second good night to Ethan, I apologized for being cranky “You were cranky??” he asked, sounding astonished.  “You didn’t seem like it to me” he said, giving me a big hug. And by the time I walked back out of their rooms, the cloud of crankiness around me was lifting.  

Despite this, I know my crankiness was not only in my mind tonight.  My behaviour was certainly not exemplary.  But I do realize that when I’m cranky, the person who feels it most is me.  I guess I can live with that.

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Taste the Love

05 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in Creating Health, Eating by Design

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Cooking, Eat by Design, Paleo

I have a love/hate relationship with cooking.  On the one hand, I get great pleasure out of making healthy and nourishing meals for my family.  I feel accomplished to have a dinner made in advance, or better yet: meals frozen in the freezer for the week. I feel like I’m on my mom-game when I grocery shop with a specific meal plan, and perhaps a new recipe to try.

When I’m really in the flow, my kids claim that they can “taste the love”.  My favourite part of when they cook with me is their ritual of adding the love – done by blowing on the food, waving their hands over it, or giving it a “presto!”-type douse with a flick of an invisible wand. (And I have to admit, their scrambled eggs really do have something special about them…)

The down side of my cooking escapades is two-fold: Sometimes I lack the time or motivation, and sometimes no one likes the meal I make.  There is nothing worse than preparing a meal that leaves people grouchy and hungry – unless I add in the frustration of feeding it to our dog or adding it to the compost after days of being untouched in the fridge.

A few weeks ago I felt like every meal I made went to waste, and upon emptying the fridge of the leftover containers, I declared that I was not going to cook again.  So meal planning became an action of making sure we had meat and vegetables for each dinner meal, with no soups, stews, sauces or otherwise-planned additions.

But in a moment of weakness, combined with a dislike of wasting food, I made a brocolli-cauliflower soup last weekend.  And it was a raging hit.

And now, here I am realizing that today, much of my day will focus on food.  I was busy for much of this past weekend at a seminar, leading to more meals out for both myself and my family.  Perhaps because of this, I awoke with thoughts of planning meals in my head once again.  Added to this is the fact that tonight I give an Eat by Design workshop in my practice (where I teach how to optimally fuel our bodies, with similarities to a “paleo diet” of meat, vegetables and fruit, no grains, sugar or processed food)

The reality is this: If I could hire a live-in cook and eat the quality of food I like, I would do so.  I would LOVE if I could cook only when I choose.  But the reality is that if I want to feed my family well, I have to plan, prepare and spend some time in the kitchen.  Maybe it’s not glorious, but by filling my fridge with good meals today, I know that I will feel like I have nourished my family well.  And I won’t forget to add in the love.

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The lofty side of this is that I am a mom on a mission. I am striving to create a better world by being the best, most inner-directed mother I know how to be. The other side of this is that I became a mom.... on purpose. Meaning, I chose this. But man, it can be hard.

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