• About Me

Mom on Purpose

~ The lofty side of this is that I am a mom on a mission. I am striving to create a better world by being the best, most inner-directed mother I know how to be. The other side of this is that I became a mom… on purpose. Meaning, I chose this. But man, it can be hard.

Mom on Purpose

Tag Archives: Being a Role Model

Body Image and Kids

25 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in Raising Independent Thinkers, Thinking by Design, Women Empowered

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Being a Role Model, Body image and kids, inner beauty, Media influence

As a mom, there are a few things (many things) that concern me about the messages my kids will get from the world outside of our home.  That they need to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way, have certain things, or even think a certain way.  I for one completely agree with the mother I heard interviewed on The Wellness Family podcast yesterday:  sometimes I would like to stand like a shield between them and the world.

But while we may be able to choose what forms of media we welcome into our home (like not having cable, newspapers, magazines, or music videos) – they are still active participants in the world they live in.   They see movies, spend time with friends, and simply don’t live in a bubble.  And to be honest, I completely disagree with trying to fabricate an artificial ‘bubble world’ for our children to live in.  This is the world they have inherited;  how can we help them navigate through it?

This all was brought to test this week.  I cringed (quite significantly, albeit inwardly) when I saw the book Audra brought home two days ago from the school library: The Princess Handbook: Your Top Secret Guide to becoming a True Princess.

(With a part of me truly disgusted, I wondered yet again how I came to have such a ‘girly-girl’ daughter – a great irony for me as a self-professed tom boy growing up.  But then I simply reminded myself of all of her other wonderful strengths: she may love all things pretty, but she is also brave, smart, athletic and strong – and just like that, I’m back at peace.  No need to have a fit over a book.)

While I could have shown my initial gut reaction, I chose to sit back on this one and observe.  I had no problem letting her dress up for school yesterday – and I had to admit the ‘brush your hair 100 times’ suggestion made getting cleaned up for school that much easier.  However, after years of consciously teaching our children all of the ways they are wonderful both inside and out, I considered this book to be a test.  (and in my eyes, a very important one to pass.)

As parents, I see our job as being that of nurturing our children’s inner world – their self esteem, confidence and courage – so that they can be strong, resourceful human beings regardless of the junk (and fake images) that may pass as newsworthy in the world at large.

Concerns about body image certainly fall into this category.  (with body image defined as  being how you feel about how you look.)  I will admit that having a daughter brings with it unique concerns.  Although I know that boys have issues with this too, perhaps knowing the insecurities I had as an adolescent girl, I have long wondered how to best parent our children through this – especially Audra.

How can we circumvent the material world of unrealistic beauty expectations and unhealthy body images?  With it starting in toddlerhood with the need to navigate the childhood ‘princess’ stages where Disney reigns supreme, how can we minimize all of that programming to help her grow into a strong, confident teenager and woman?

Image

And as so often seems to be the case, most answers that occur to me point towards the  importance of who we are being as role models.

How do we speak in our home to our kids, about their traits, their body, their health, their strengths, or their challenges?  How do we speak about ourselves?  What is our own body image?  And ultimately – what kind of role model are we being?

Here is my ironic admission:  in my unabashed motherly bias, I find my daughter to be one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen.  And in her short 8 years, she has certainly heard her share of exclamations over how ‘cute’ she is, or how ‘beautiful’ she is.   And many of those come frequently from my own mouth.

However, we have made a concerted effort to teach our children consistently about inner beauty.  About being smart, kind, strong, courageous, thoughtful, creative.  About following their own inner guidance, trusting themselves, and standing up for what they believe.  So in this spirit, I am consciously aware of praising our children in ‘package deals’.  Beautiful and smart.  Pretty and kind.  Cute and strong.  Wonderful on both the inside and outside.  For me, it is simply the truth.

We try to focus on what they can do, and who they are being.  What new things they learned today, what challenges they overcame, what ways they helped other people.  How they are strong, healthy, fast, brave and athletic.  How they are smart, creative, thoughtful and interesting.

So while I feel a more in-depth conversation may be in order about what Audra is learning from this  book, at least part of my answer may have been found in her bedtime conversation with me last night.

As is our bedtime routine, every night I ask Ethan and Audra three questions:  What they did well, what they are grateful for, and what was their favourite part of the day.  She paused for a moment when I asked her what she was grateful for, then answered: “I’m grateful for being pretty…. and kind and smart and strong.”

And those are answers that I can certainly agree with.

(If you’re looking for some great listening material, check out www.thewellnesscouch.com  – a group of podcasts out of Australia that I was introduced to by a friend and colleague, and who happens to be one of the founders.  I have to say, it’s pretty fun to see friends who are making lots of waves in the world.)

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

Journaling with my ‘Monkey-See-Monkey-Do’ Kids

22 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by Dr. Amy Robinson in A Working Mom, Fully expressed, Raising Independent Thinkers, Thinking by Design

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Being a Role Model, Journaling, Morning Power Hour, Thinking by Design for Kids

Kids tend to copy what they see.  Monkey see, monkey do – right?  And in the perfect world, they will only see the ‘good’ sides of us, and only copy those habits and behaviours we wish them to take on.  (I could laugh out loud right now – along with every other parent who might read this. ‘Yeah, our kids will only see our good sides’  Sure.)  The truth is that kids truly do see all, and there are some of my traits I hope they don’t take on.  I think the best I can hope for is to be as good a role model as I know how to be – and to trust that they will pick up on lots of the ‘good’, and downplay the ‘bad.’  I’m only human, after all.

But when it comes to habits, there are many things I do that I hope they will emulate – like being active, eating healthy food, making family a priority, being a good listener, and so on.  And while much of this comes with frequent and intentional conversations – why we eat what we do, why we need to take other people’s feelings into consideration, (etc) – the most enjoyable for me is when I see my kids take up a habit of mine from observation, and from their own decision that it seems like something they would like to try.

And so, here I find myself, early on a sunny morning, sitting on our gazebo at the end of my morning ‘power hour’ – an hour that I spend every morning in preparation for my day.  And the best part of today’s power hour is my company.

Image

It truly is a reality that kids do as you do.  And my kids see me journal often.  They know that when they wake up in the morning they can find me in the back yard or living room with my  journal, a book, or the computer close at hand.  And of course they ask me what I’m doing, what I write about, and most importantly: why I do it.

And so I have told them: my ‘power hour’ is an hour I dedicate every morning as soon as I get up (usually 6am) to setting out my goals and intentions for the day.  It is a practice that virtually every ultra-successful person I know (or know of) does.  It’s something that has been touted as being one of the most productive uses of time from so many sources I can’t name them all (but Robin Sharma is one who writes wonderfully about it).  And it is the one thing I do that seems to make the rest of my life flow better.  I am more clear and focused, I can map out what I want to accomplish, get clarity on my dreams and aspirations, and where I see myself going.  Quite simply, it keeps me on track.

And so, to have my kids join me in this practice is an absolute joy.  I didn’t ask them.  They’ve just subscribed to the notion of ‘monkey see, monkey do.’

What do I do?  Well, for me, it starts with 5-15 minutes of mobility work (which wakes me up)  This is followed by reviewing some of my own goals, intentions, values or dreams – each of which is a detailed document on the desktop of my computer.  And then I journal.  I review each week – wins and challenges.  I set intentions for each week and each day.  And I check in on it to see if I am on track.  And then I map out when I expect to do any of the actions I have listed.

Sometimes I blog.  Sometimes I dream.  Sometimes I just get my thoughts out.  But all in all, it gives me great clarity, keeps me connected to my purpose, helps me map out what I want to accomplish, and starts my day with gusto.

And I love that my kids have become frequent journalers.

ImageRight now, Ethan is writing out his ideas for a world he wants to build in Minecraft (a world-building game on the computer), as well as ideas for a mod he wants to invent for it (a mod is a computer program…  which, I guess means that we have to find a way for him to start learning programming…!)

ImageAudra has started by writing out the  most important things in her life (a list of family, friends and stuffed animals), and another of things she would like to do in her life (like going to Hawaii).

Considering that I have found this practice to be one of the most important things I do to keep me on track – and is likely one reason I have been able to find harmony amongst the many busy roles I play as a mom, wife, chiropractor, business owner, and writer – I am exceedingly happy to witness my kids embracing this for themselves.  I believe it to be as important for their wellbeing as being active and eating healthy foods.

I believe it fosters self esteem, instills the value of having a vision and mapping out steps to reach their goals, and allows them to celebrate the wins they experience every day. (like Audra’s evident enthusiasm for completing a walk over for the first time – and her celebration of the effort):Image

As I sit and watch them journal, think and create, it certainly fills my soul up.  I have no doubt that they will indeed create their lives exactly as they wish, reach their goals, have direction and purpose  – and live extraordinary lives.

Which, of course, is exactly what I wish for them.

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...
The lofty side of this is that I am a mom on a mission. I am striving to create a better world by being the best, most inner-directed mother I know how to be. The other side of this is that I became a mom.... on purpose. Meaning, I chose this. But man, it can be hard.

CATEGORIES

A Working Mom Creating Health Crossfit Eating by Design Extended family Fully expressed in8 Mama: Deviating from the Mainstream Life Lessons Moving by Design Musings of a Manic Mama My Chiropractic Life My Life as a Wife Our Family Adventures Our Household Rules Pet lover Pregnancy and Birth Raising Independent Thinkers The Baby Years The Dad Factor The Technology Connundrum Thinking by Design Thoughts Women Empowered

Recent Posts

  • Moving on from Mom on Purpose
  • The Hardest Week of my Life – 2 Years Later
  • My Parenting Panic Attack – again
  • Absurdly happy to be 40
  • Passing Years, Growing Kids and Mourning Moms

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 98 other followers

Follow Mom on Purpose on WordPress.com

Power of Moms

Tags

Babysitting Balance Bedtime Rituals Being a Role Model Being heard Being Present in the Moment Be the change buying peace Changing the World Choose your battles; thriving vs surviving competition Cooking costumes crankiness creativity crossfit Dads Date nights Dave Matthews Band Difficult Decisions Doing your best Eat by Design Eating by Design Empowered women exercise experiences facing challenges Family Family time Freedom Gratitude Halifax hallowe'en health Holidays Home Birth immune system inner beauty Kids Growing Up letting go Life by Design Love Making a Difference Marriage Morning Power Hour Moving by Design natural approaches Nature new experiences Newfoundland Paleo Parenting Parenting choices parenting little girls powerful women relationships Remembrance Day Responsibility Role Models Routine Santa Claus self esteem Self love sibling moments Simplicity sports Standing for Something Strength stubborn little diva taking care of ourselves tantrums Tough Mudder Travel Values Working Mom

Blogs I Follow

Blog at WordPress.com.

The Inspired Life Journey

Real life. Fully expressed. And not always Inspired.

Mom on Purpose

The lofty side of this is that I am a mom on a mission. I am striving to create a better world by being the best, most inner-directed mother I know how to be. The other side of this is that I became a mom... on purpose. Meaning, I chose this. But man, it can be hard.

Esther Yvette

MY JOURNEY. MY PURPOSE. MY PASSION.

dr laura foster

thoughts and inspirations

What Kids Want Us to Know

Lessons in parenting from children themselves

dr andrea ryan

Chiropractor. Mom. Wife. Author. Health & Wellness Leader. Increasing My Level of Awesomeness

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
%d bloggers like this: