Tag Archives: Gratitude

“The World is NOT Hollow!!” – Observations of a nine-year-old

27 Monday Oct 2014

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“The world is NOT hollow!,”  Audra yells as we are driving today, taking me completely off guard.

“What do you mean?” I ask, perplexed.  “Where did that thought come from??”

“The song on the radio just said that the world is hollow.” she states in a tone of complete disagreement.

“Well… what is it full of?“, I ask with curiosity.

“LOVE.”  she answers promptly.

“Beauty.”

“Amazing things.”

“And nature makes me feel ALIVE.” she finishes with emphasis.

I continue our drive, pondering her thoughts, while taking in the beautiful colours of the fall leaves.

“Yes.  I completely agree,” I answer, as a deep breath of contentment fills my lungs.

YES.

Audra

Are you Ready for Christmas? My Top Tips for Keeping Peace (Sanity) in the Holidays

18 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by in Fully expressed, in8 Mama: Deviating from the Mainstream, Life Lessons

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As we approach the final weekend before the 25th, I’m sure even those people who don’t celebrate Christmas can feel the hype.  Without a doubt, the most common question I hear these days is:

“ARE YOU READY FOR CHRISTMAS YET?”  – usually said with a sense of hesitance, like the question itself might cause someone to come unhinged.

Hmmm…. am I ready?  For what?  Family time?  Good food?  Contributing to my community? (if only the question meant those things to everyone, I think the chaos and stress that seems to accompany this time of year would be gone)

Unfortunately, I think it usually translates more like this:

Are you Ready?   Have you… gotten Santa pictures taken? Made and mailed photo cards to everyone? Shopped? Shopped some more?  Found the perfect present destined to reward you with that prized reaction from your kids on Christmas morning?  Outdid yourself from last year?  Spent more money than you could afford? Planned dinners?  Scheduled family visits?  Pencilled in holiday parties? Got haircuts and new holiday outfits for the family? Made sure your house was clean for a week of entertaining? Meticulously scheduled your time co-ordinating family visits – hopefully that don’t require days of travel or a Christmas day of house-hopping? Double-checked your list to make sure you didn’t forget someone?  And shopped some more?

Maybe it is hard to believe, but the week around December 25th is usually one of the most peaceful and relaxing weeks of the year for me.  I believe this is because of a few factors.  1 – We’ve lived in a different province from family for the past 15 years.  So our holidays either involve traveling or a quiet time with the four of us.  2 – When our kids were still babies, I saw how incredibly stressed out parents were at this time of year, and we vowed that we would do things differently.  3 – It was easy for us to start with simple gifts because our first few Christmases as a family were at a time that we simply had no extra money to be lavish with.

And so my top tips for bringing some PEACE AND JOY back into the holidays are these:

1 – START SIMPLE AND KEEP IT THAT WAY.   Let’s face it, babies don’t know the difference, toddlers are happier with the boxes and paper, and kids innately have the capacity to find joy in very small things.  As I’ve said in an earlier blog, it is usually us, as parents, that keep going bigger and better every year – and then wonder why our children are constantly wanting more.

(I had this conversation today with a mom of two young kids.  I was appalled when she told me that she has bought 8 substantial gifts for each of her kids, and that all 6 grandparents have bought another 5-6 gifts as well.  Her eyes almost bugged out of her head when I told her that we’ve always only bought one gift per child – and then, with a wistful look in her eyes told me that she wished she had started that way.  I suggested that if it were me, wanting to break that pattern, I’d plan a holiday vacation for an upcoming year.  I’d let the kids know the holiday was in place of presents, and then start anew – more simply – the following year.  (As for me, I can’t wait to experience a future Christmas in the Caribbean)

2 – GIVE GIFTS BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.  This is very different from giving gifts because you have to.  Would you rather receive a gift that someone happily and willingly gave to you?  Or one that you know was out of obligation?  I think we have become afraid of setting limits for gift-giving.  For me, when I give a gift, I get as much joy out of it as I expect the person gets from being on the receiving end.

The exchanging of gifts is a two-way street.  And it should feel win-win in both directions.

In my opinion, if you feel obligated to give gifts – that joy will be lacking (possibly even undermined by some subconscious irritation or resentment)  – both of which indicate that there is simply a conversation that needs to happen.  As often happens, you may just be surprised when you suggest cutting back and find that that idea brings a look of relief to other people’s faces as well.

There are lots of great ideas families have for keeping the fun and spirit of gift-giving alive.  Like exchanging names each year.  Or making it into a game – like Secret Santa, or “The Present Game”.  Or making a rule that presents have to be home-made.

3 – DONATE TO YOUR COMMUNITY.  I know that sometimes I get so caught up in my own life, that I forget that so many others have less than we do.  Less love, less security, less family, less food, less money – you name it.  Especially at this time of year – and its tendency to be very consumeristic – it can be very grounding to donate your time or money to others in your community.

Every year I make an effort to contribute a little more than at other times of year.  Each year in my practice, we have run food drives, or collected donations for a local woman’s shelter.

Other years I’ve brought the kids to pick out a toy they’d like to receive – with the understanding that it would be given to a child who might not be getting anything else that year.  We started this when Audra was 4, as I didn’t think she would understand well enough at an earlier age.  I was so pleasantly surprised at how much they grasped the concept of giving joy to others who are less fortunate.  Even at that young age, there was never once a whine that they wanted the toys for themselves.

But my favourite was the year the kids made dozens of Christmas cards that we brought and gave out at the local nursing home on Christmas Eve.  At the time, it was our first Christmas that we chose to stay in Ontario by ourselves – and I will admit that one of my motivations was to remind myself that there are many people who are lonely during the holidays – which is something that I will never experience as long as I am with my husband and kids.

Just like giving gifts, contributing to your community is another way to create a win-win situation.  No matter how difficult your own life may be at times, I suspect it may be impossible to feel badly about helping someone in need.  Rather, it brings up wonderful feelings of gratitude and a deep sense of inner peace.  Two things that are so crucial to truly enjoying the holidays.

And lastly,

4 – ASK YOURSELF:  DOES THIS BRING ME JOY?  Over the years, as we’ve made our decisions about the holidays, and the traditions we wanted to create, this single question is what has guided me.  I don’t mean it in the sense of being negligent of other people’s feelings.  I mean to check within yourself to see what choices make you feel those things that the holidays are meant to embrace: peace, love, gratitude, and joy.

For me, this list is simple.  I want quality time with family, good food, to feel like I have helped others in my community… and a good book to read.  For some people, this list  may include spending a day decorating their house, baking, filling their homes with guests, or a multitude of family traditions.

I challenge you to stop during this busy time and ask yourself:

What parts of the holidays fill me up with joy?

What things must be in place for me to feel content?

Who do I wish to spend my time with?

Where would I most like to spend my time?

What choices help my family be most at peace?

What traditions mean something to me – so much so that I’d like to pass them on to my kids?

I wonder what would happen if everyone stopped to reflect on these questions.  I wonder how many people would stop in their tracks and start to scratch things off their to-do lists?  I wonder how many people would remember what matters most about this time of year?

My wish is that more people would take just a few minutes during these busy days to slow down, breathe, and choose to create the holidays with great intention – while getting fully present to all of the beauty around them.

Whatever path you may choose, whatever tradition you may celebrate – my wish for you is simply this:  for your days to be filled with peace, love, and joy.

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Christmas Eve 2012 in Nova Scotia

Life Challenges and Winning on the Uphills

18 Friday Oct 2013

Posted by in A Working Mom, Musings of a Manic Mama, My Chiropractic Life

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If my life was a road race, I think right now I would be on one of those deceiving hills – not too steep to look daunting, but deceptively long and hard.  And just like a race, if you stop mid-hill, it takes a lot more energy to get moving again.  The top isn’t usually in sight, and when you look back, sometimes it looks almost flat. “Why does this seem so hard?” you may wonder; “When will I reach the top?”  And “I wish I could just coast right now.”

Truthfully, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t feel this way sometimes.  Sometimes it feels like a marathon, and sometimes it feels like a sprint.  Either way, the best way I’ve found to keep moving forward is to take a look at where you are, how far you’ve come, and keep sight of where you’re going and why you want to get there.

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In my life right now, I am feeling kind of tired.  I am missing my Nova Scotia family – and don’t know yet when I’ll see them all next.  My practice feels quiet – and I like to be busy.  Even my crossfit workouts feel sluggish.  As a matter of fact, in all 6 of the workouts I’ve done in the past 2 weeks, I’ve had to combat a very loud voice that says “I don’t want to do this.  I should just stop.”  (complete with excuses for myself of why that would be ok) But stopping just isn’t an option – not in my mind.  And I consider excuses to be a complete waste of energy.

And so – I am taking the advice of a great mentor of mine: “When you question if you are making a difference, or whether you are succeeding in certain areas of your life – just look for the evidence to the contrary.” (Thanks Arno!)

There is, in fact, a rhyme to my reason.  There is a reason our bedtime routine starts with me asking my kids what they did well that day.  It’s because there will be days that coming up with an answer to that question feels hard – and those days are the ones that it is even more important that we take stock of where we are winning. Even if it’s in the small things.

I’m not advocating living life with your head in the sand, avoiding problems, or taking no action.  No – rather, I am advocating putting your time and attention on those things that are working – the areas of your life where you are ‘winning’ – simply to keep you in the mindset for succeeding.  This then lends itself well to taking action that will eventually lead you out of that place/problem/mental funk.

SquatsIf I look back in time, I can easily see that what feels like a quiet day in practice now would have been a busy day in practice 2 years ago.  I can see that in the ten years since I graduated chiropractic college, we’ve grown in leaps and bounds.  Our family has grown, our interests have broadened, our successes have been many (as have been the challenges).  Even with crossfit, two years ago I couldn’t have lifted what I did today – regardless of whether it was fast or slow.

If I look at where I am winning today, I can appreciate the dedicated families who make time to come out to our workshops; revel in the excitement of having next week’s mom’s group full to capacity; and for the many couples booked for our prenatal class that is still over a month away.  I can look at the kids and teenagers who lay down on my table for their adjustments, and appreciate that I have known many of them since they were babies and toddlers.  I can look at the families I take care of and see all of the ways in which I get to play a role in their lives.

I can look at my family, and see Ethan and Audra’s happy, healthy faces. I can be grateful for the fact that Ethan still lets me hug and kiss him in the schoolyard, and for Audra’s warm little hand in mine as we walk home from school.  I can be grateful for Dean, who loves me even when I feel like I am a roller coaster.  I can be grateful for our dog Casey – especially when a year ago we thought we might be losing her.  I can be grateful for those big things – and the small:  a roof over our head, good quality food in our bellies, and the appreciation for the quality time we get to share together.

So, on the days that I feel like life is all uphill, I take the time to get present to all the ways I am winning.  In the big ways and small moments.  And I know I find it when I start to feel gratitude.  In gratitude everything flows better.  

Yes, I have to keep moving, but maybe – just maybe – one day I will look back on these moments to see that these days were the ones that made all the difference.  And when I ‘reach the top’ – it will be that much more worthwhile.

Perspective is everything.

mountain top

Family, Food, Nature and Gratitude

15 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by in Our Family Adventures

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With Thanksgiving weekend coming to a close – a quiet one for us – I’d say our recurring themes were those of Family, Food, Nature, and GRATITUDE.

Pumpkin Patch

In the spirit of simple family day moments, we didn’t do anything grandiose.  Friday was spent hiking at Cold Creek Conservation with friends.  Saturday found us at the pumpkin patch at Chappelle Farms, running on the hay bale maze, and testing our courage in the haunted barn.  Sunday was a rainy day that kept us close to home, with the kids enjoying time with neighbourhood friends, and followed by our ‘turkey dinner’ (it was actually a roast chicken since a turkey would have been too big for the four of us), followed by a family movie.  And Monday was another beautiful day we spent hiking at Mono Cliffs – a part of the Niagara escarpement.

Audra Pumpkin Patch

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Our soundtrack was a mix of Ethan playing his first ‘mastered’ guitar song: Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty.  When he wasn’t singing or playing it, our moments were interspersed with some Dave Matthews, Black Sabbath and Metallica. (yeah, I admit we have diverse taste in music.  Listening to Audra list her favourite bands made me laugh:  Selena Gomez, Hannah Montana, Pink, Led Zeppelin, Metallica and Dave Matthews Band)

And we spent lots of time in the kitchen – with Chef Ethan being our primary breakfast cook with his eggs specialty, and with Audra helping me with a dessert experiment of a raw carrot cake with cashew nut frosting (it turned out to be quite yummy) – and of course our regular dinners (sausages and cabbage, pulled pork with veggies, and our thanksgiving dinner).  By tonight, however, I opted for sushi and a documentary.

The documentary – “I AM” – rounded out the weekend quite nicely (although it was only Dean and I home to watch it as the kids were both out with friends)  “I AM” documents the competitive, separate nature of today’s North American society, with interviews from many great minds about the science that exists supporting the truth of connection, collaboration, and how we affect the world around us.  Ultimately, it outlines the fundamental truth that we are all connected – as human beings, and as a part of all of nature.  It makes the point that our every action affects the whole – like an ocean being filled up with single droplets of water.  While there was nothing in the documentary I have not yet seen or studied, it was a welcome reminder.

What we do matters.  Who we are being matters.  Simple moments of appreciation matter.  Simple moments as a family matter.  Time spent in connection with nature matters.

It was a fitting end to a weekend dedicated to gratitude.

Celebrating Dean

01 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by in Fully expressed, My Life as a Wife

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Today is Dean’s birthday – and almost 15 years to the day that we met.   At the time, he was living in Edmonton and I was living 3 hours away in Calgary – just after graduating from university.  And on the weekend that we met, I knew that he was ‘the one’ for me.  How I knew, well, I can’t quite say.  But I vividly remember the bus ride back to Calgary as I journaled my surprised certainty that I had just met the guy I was going to marry.  And the funny thing was that we hadn’t kissed, hadn’t exchanged phone numbers, and had set up nothing to see each other again.  But, in the way that the world sometimes works out – I was right – and by the end of that month we had seen each other several more times and knew with an uncanny certainty that we would be spending our lives together.  In many ways I find it mind-boggling that I was only 22 when we met.  At the time, I can’t say that I was really that certain of who I was – but I was definitely on the path to learning – and obviously (thankfully!) in touch enough to know that this guy was the one for me.

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Flash forward several years (and another province), and we were married; another few years and we were a family of four, just getting started in life.  It was busy – sometimes chaotic – but wonderful at the same time.  One image that always stood out for me was from a book I read.  It was to picture our family like a wheel – with our marriage as the center spoke.  That has always stuck with me – that our relationship would be the center of our family life.  And I believe that one of the reasons that we got through those crazy earlier years with kids was because we kept sight of that.

I consider one of the greatest successes in my life to be our marriage and family life.  On the worst of days, I know that I have a partner in life who loves me, believes in me, and makes me feel cherished every single day.  I depend on him and his love to help keep me strong on the days that I feel weak, and beautiful on the days that I feel old and tired.  If I am able to help other people in my life, and be the kind of mother, wife, chiropractor and human being that I most want to be – it is in part because of the strength I gain from his love and support.

He is the most loving husband I could ever wish for, my best friend, and an amazing father.

I sincerely hope that our children will grow up to have a relationship as strong as ours, and to be parents as committed as he is.  (Yet another example of the importance of being role models for our children)

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Not a day has gone by in our lives together without saying that we love each other .  And for all of these 15 years, I have never once doubted that he is still ‘the one’ for me.

(Happy birthday Dean!  I LOVE YOU)

Family, Freedom and Experiencing

07 Sunday Apr 2013

Posted by in Extended family, My Life as a Wife, Our Family Adventures, The Baby Years

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Five years ago I was on a beach in Cuba as my sister, who I adore, was married.  It was a sunny, beautiful day, with a breeze coming off the water to where we stood under the shade of the trees.  The background sounds were of the waves gently crashing a few feet away, our brother singing, and Dean playing guitar.  With a simple ceremony, followed by playful pictures in the waves, and climbing trees, our group celebrated together.

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At the time, Dean’s parents had flown to Ontario to watch Ethan and Audra, who were almost 5 and 3 years old.  At the time, there were no cousins yet born – and now there are five: 3 to my sister and 2 to my brother.  Again, I am astonished at how time flies so quickly, and yet those moments feel like yesterday.

For us, it was the first time away from our children.  And while I missed them – at times intensely, the other part of me that craves freedom revelled in the contrast between how busy those years were for us, and the luxury of being able to fully and completely relax.   The concept of relaxation had entirely been lost on me for years at that point.

One thing I doubt I will ever take for granted is the ease that comes from having family nearby to help out.  I can say that with confidence, I believe, simply because it’s one thing we have never had in our time as parents.  With both of our families in different provinces, our early years were spent relying solely on each other.  And the contrast we experienced when traveling to Alberta or Nova Scotia to visit our parents – or when they came to us – was striking.  I will forever say that I am grateful that we had passed (in one piece!) to the other side of the toddler years when my sister and brother started their families.  I am quite certain that I would have been green with envy, and wallowed in tired self pity if I had seen how much support was available, and how much of a social life was possible if grandparents happened to live close by.  I do not for one second begrudge that my siblings had that extra help where we did not – after all, we were the ones who chose to stay in Ontario.

However, with the backdrop of five years of constant baby and toddler years and the busyness (and sometimes chaos) that entails, both Dean and I admittedly had one of the best weeks of our lives when we travelled to Cuba sans-kids.  Even amongst the group of friends/wedding guests, the comments were made that we just might have been the most relaxed people at the entire resort.  And they just may have been right. (We had five years worth banked!)

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Don’t get me wrong:  we missed our kids.  I can still vividly remember calling home one day to hear Audra wailing my name – as I broke down into a blubbering mess.  Despite my desire to not make it harder on them, I just couldn’t quite control the emotions that stirred from knowing my babies missed me from so far away.  And yet…  after a little time, that too waned, as I got present to the gift of time I had in front of me.  Time to enjoy the sun, spend time with my husband, have fun with my sister and friends, and to hang out with my parents.  It was our first time to an all-inclusive.  It was our first time traveling to a different country together.  And it was glorious.  The little taste of freedom it gave me was worth every second of the episodes of heartache.

The experience awoke in me the desire to travel, play, experience and be free – both with my husband, and with our children.  I realized that we could have our busy lives, and travel, too.  We resolved then and there that we would do more of this.  I realized that the time and effort we put into our daily lives, balancing work, kids and our marriage – while wonderful – also created the need to occasionally step away from it all and just simply be.

And now, several years later, and with a few more trips under our belt (including ones with our kids), it is a goal of ours to work towards truly having it all:  regular travel together as a couple, and travel with our kids. And we hope one day to travel with our extended family, and to share some of those future experiences with some of our closest friends.

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I don’t know how it will all play out.  I don’t know how often we will travel, nor exactly where we will end up. (But we have lots of fun watching travel documentaries, and dreaming up ideas)  With the value we place on family, freedom and experiencing, all I know for sure that I intend to live my life to the fullest, gaining great experiences and learning with Dean, Ethan and Audra.

One of the great realizations in my life was that I would rather buy an experience than a ‘thing’.  If I had to choose, I would rather live a more simple life – with travel and adventure – than a luxurious one always at home.  For us, having new experiences is what life is all about.

Upon reflection, I think that I would not have so greatly appreciated the exhilaration of that first Cuba trip if we had been living with family close by.  I think I may have been guilty of taking my freedom for granted, if having someone to call on had always been the norm.  But, like the saying that every cloud has its silver lining, perhaps one of the best gifts we have gained from having a family that is ‘geographically challenged’ is the appreciation for the moment in front of us.  For time.  For freedom.  For the people around us.  For new experiences.  And the desire to reach for more.

Cuba, I think, was just the wake up call.  And what a glorious one it was.

(Happy Anniversary Andrea and Andrew!!)

Our Family Adventure Log

27 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by in Our Family Adventures

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I have forgotten to be grateful.  I have been reading travel blogs and videos, seeing posts of friends who are currently in places in the world that I wish to go – and I am wanting it to be me.  I have such a heart felt desire to travel the world, see new cultures, expose our family to new ideas, see great beauty, walk amidst ancient sites and learn, learn learn.

I could fall into that trap of wondering “Why not me?”  (Or more appropriately:  Why not me… YET?)  But to do so would be for me to be ignorant of all the opportunities I have already had, and all of those we have given our children.  Why am I in such a hurry?

Here is a list to remind myself of some of the amazing opportunities I have already had:

I grew up in beautiful Nova Scotia, with an amazing childhood full of nature, outdoors, camping, and joy.  I went away to university: St. F.X. in Antigonish, NS.  I lived in Ottawa for a summer.  I moved to Calgary (and met my husband while out west, great added bonus!).  We have lived in Toronto, Brampton, Woodbridge, and now Beeton, Ontario.

We got engaged on top of a mountain (Kananaskis, near Banff, Alberta)  We have white water rafted in Jasper, hiked gorges in the Rocky Mountains, visited the Okanogan, BC.  We honeymooned in Nova Scotia – whale watched from a zodiac, so close we could almost touch the whales, sailed with friends, cottaged in Mabou, Cape Breton, skimmed near Halifax (a form of surfing) – allthewhile enjoying amazing food.

We have been to New York City, seen all the sites of Toronto.  Visited Montreal, Newfoundland, driven across all of Canada.  Been through many of the states.

Our children have climbed a mountain the Rockies, walked in snow on top of the Jasper range while in the middle of summer.  They have jumped waves in the Atlantic Ocean, and have been on whale watching expeditions.  We have back -country canoed-camped in Agonquin.  Water skied, tubed, seadoed, snowmobiled.  Cross Country Skiing.  Down Hill Skiing.  Rock Climbing.  Boogie Boarding. (and this is just my one-minute list)

We have taken them on a Caribbean Cruise – where they visited Mexico, swam with dolphins, snorkeled, took a speed boat to a private island in Belize, and did an airboat tour of the Florida Everglades.

We have hiked all over Ontario.  Spent time in Niagara Falls. We have ten years of great memories at our friends’ cottage – full of memories of fun, rest and play.  Our kids  have been on trains, planes, flown in 4 seater planes, and in a helicopter.

What on earth am I complaining about?

What an amazing, full life I am living.  What an amazing, full life we are providing for our children.

I am so excited for what adventures the future will bring us.  We have just begun.

I am so grateful.

Jasper Alberta 2010

 

One Proud Mama

06 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Fully expressed, Life Lessons

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Today I am a proud mama. And my boy has guts.

I’m sure most people have heard that public speaking is one of the greatest fears people have. It takes confidence, poise…and guts to stand up in front of a group for any reason. Today I had the opportunity to watch Ethan speak in front of his school assembly of several hundred students. And he ROCKED it.

A few weeks ago, Ethan came to me heavily conflicted about a speech he had to give to his grade four class. Now, I speak regularly to groups both large and small. And one thing I have learned is that one of the secrets to a great talk is to talk about something you are passionate about. And let me tell you, Ethan LOVES greek mythology. In fact, on the night he thought up the topic, he followed me around the house for an hour spouting story after story, so excited that I wondered if he’d ever wind down to sleep.

Our first hurdle came the next day when he dejectedly reported that his classmates had offered their opinions that it wouldn’t be a good topic. (And in true Ethan-style, EVERYONE shot down the idea… which I sincerely doubt was entirely true)

As I donned my “coach” hat, our conversation revolved around the importance of following his heart, and not being swayed by his friends. (And, as I pointed out, none of them had heard how he tells those stories.) After a few days of hemming and hawing, he finally decided to go with his gut on this one, regardless of what anyone else said. (Yes! I thought. One for the confidence quotient.)

As we worked on his outline, adding his favourite characters, stories and monsters, his excitement grew. By the weekend, as he rehearsed for his last time with cue cards, he was almost beside himself, fervently hoping that he would be the one picked out of his class to share his speech with the whole school.

And I have to admit, I was hoping just as much, possibly even more than he was. See, one of my great passions is public speaking. And I think a part of my love of this started when I was Ethan’s age and had the role of Dorothy in our school play. I have no recollection of being scared to perform and sing in front of hundreds of people, and to this day, the memory is one of great accomplishment.

Knowing this, and being a mom witnessing how quickly my children are growing up, one of my strongest wishes is for them to have high self esteem, and the ability to face a challenge and experience the exhilaration that comes from overcoming it.

In my own head, I think I made a big deal out of this speech as well – although I did not voice that to Ethan. I simply saw the potential growth an experience like this could give to him. But rather than add to his pressure, nor interfere by emailing his teacher (which I considered, but then vetoed) – I zipped my lip. My advice to Ethan was what I always tell him: Give it your best. We will be proud of you no matter what.

However, when I got the email from Ethan’s teacher yesterday that he had been chosen to speak to the school assembly- I literally danced for joy.

And so last night and this morning, I again donned my “coach hat” many times as he waivered between excitement and anxiety. “I’m so scared!” he’d lament. “There will be 600 kids there!” he’d cry (another Ethan-exaggeration, I might add)

So I brought him back to past experiences when he’d overcome obstacles. Like overcoming his fear of deep water, jumping off high ledges to the water below (rope swings, bridges, and rock ledges) – and most importantly – the feeling of exhilaration he had once on the other side of those experiences. He listened intently, seeming to take it all in.

When it was his turn to give his speech, I literally watched him talk himself into confidence. And with a deep breath, he calmly looked out over the gathered students, and rocked his speech.

It was not about whether it was perfect (though to me, it was) It was not about whether or not he “won” by the judges (in fact, we don’t yet know, and I don’t care at all) It was all about watching our son, our pride and joy, take yet another confident step in the world. Being proud of who he is, his ability to hold his own, and to face his fears and keep going despite them all.

As a mom, every little moment like this is like a breath of fresh air. I can breathe a little easier, with yet another experience where I have witnessed the courage and strength that lies in our not-so-little-boy.

I know that life will offer up lots of its bumps along the way. But today, I was witness to one of those memories that for him, may just be one to call upon when he needs a reminder of how very powerful he is.

Oh yeah, I am one proud mama.

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Reflections on Time

30 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by in Extended family, Fully expressed

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Sometimes I get the feeling that time overlaps.  I find myself thinking about what I was doing at this time a year ago, or ten years ago – it doesn’t really matter:  both feel simultaneously like a lifetime ago… and yesterday.

Take today for example.  Eleven years ago today, my cousin Ann celebrated her last birthday.  Thirty-seven years ago today I was not yet born.  One year ago today, I was still reveling in the post-vacation joy of our first family trip south.

It is with some shock I realized that today would have been Ann’s 50th birthday –  a detail that would likely have escaped my notice had it not been for the Facebook post by her sister (along with an absolutely beautiful picture, I might add) It leaves me feeling so happy-sad to look at. I knew it was her birthday, but time seems to have played that trick on me again, quite possibly because I can’t match my remembered-Ann with an imagined-Ann at 50.

Ann and Meg

Ann and Meg

As I reflect on my day – a pretty run-of-the-mill non-work day for me, I find myself finding little moments to be grateful for.  I am alive and healthy, surrounded by love and little moments of grace… when I take the time to notice them.

I am grateful for my early morning quiet time – that hour or so in the morning when I can journal, plan and set my goals before my household awakes.

I am grateful for the weekly accountability call I have with my two colleagues – who are fast becoming great friends and sounding boards for me.

I am grateful for a hard, heart-pumping, heavy-lifting workout at crossfit (I especially celebrated this one as I am just getting fully back in the game after an injury).

I am grateful for a coffee and hug post-workout with one of my crossfit ladies.

I am grateful for a great massage to help keep me on my game.

I am grateful for meeting Dean in Alliston to run errands – and that I still get butterflies when I see him at unexpected times in my day.

I am grateful for the mild weather that allowed us to walk to get our kids from school.

I am grateful for the simple but healthy dinner we enjoyed together.

I am grateful for the beautiful guitar music Dean is playing as I write this.

I am grateful for the happy sound of Ethan singing in the background.

And of course I am grateful for the hugs I get every night before bed.

Quite simply, I am grateful for the time that I have, for the breath in my body, for the feeling of being fully alive, exceptionally loved, and for all of the moments I get to spend here.  When I take time to truly notice, I can see that my life is full of grace.

Making a Difference

23 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by in Creating Health, Fully expressed, My Chiropractic Life

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Did you know that it is a universal human desire to feel that we are “making a difference”? The cool thing is that there are so many ways to do this, both large and small.  There certainly is something to be said for being able to look in the mirror and say: “I matter.”

Yesterday was a perfect day for me, quite simply because I had a day full of experiences that that sent me a clear message that ‘Yes, I matter;.’  ‘I am making a difference in the world.’

Yesterday started before 6am, when I wrote my blog about happiness.  And funnily enough, it started my day with happiness, as every time I look at the picture of Ethan and Audra covered in the mud (5 years ago?!) I was transported back in time to that day.   Pictures really do speak a thousand words.  It seemed to set the tone for the day.

Arriving at my practice, my first people to adjust were a mom and her little girl.  It truly is like spending time with friends to realize that I have been adjusting this family since the parents were first trying to conceive – and they now have three young children.  My morning ended with speaking to a new person in my practice, with that amazing feeling that comes from looking across at someone and seeing what is possible for them.  For their health, and for their life.  The crux of it all is that what I am doing is reminding them that they are amazing, that they are designed for health, and happiness –  and that they are in the right place.  My job basically is one of inspiring hope – because too often, people have forgotten.

As my day went on, I met with a new family who simply wanted to be “at their best”, followed by a busy evening of adjusting.  Throughout my day I gave and received many hugs, had many laughs, adjusted many babies and kids, and connected with the beautiful people in my practice.  There are some days that I get so much out of being in my practice that I feel like I should be paying them.

As if that wasn’t enough, after giving my last adjustment, I went straight to one of the midwifery practices, where they had invited me to be a guest speaker at their home birth evening.  I walked into the room to be surrounded by expectant couples, and babies – entirely in my element.  It was an informal gathering, as people were there to get more information about the prospect of giving birth at home.  There was a sharing atmosphere as people told their stories, and asked questions.  It was one of the easiest groups to speak with, as they already were embracing an approach that honours the wisdom of the body.  My job was simply to deepen that understanding, and tell them ways that they can optimize their experience.  They were already on board.

When all was said and done, I arrived home at 10 pm, 16 hours after my day first started.  It was a long day, but I was so exhilarated from it that Dean and I talked about it for another hour.   I love how a purposeful day leaves me with more energy – a world of difference from what an 18 hour day would do otherwise.

My nighttime ritual of reflecting on what I did well was easy:  clear, purposeful communication, connection, and knowing that I am making a difference.  And what I was grateful for was even easier:  loving what I do, feeling like I never ‘work’, being surrounded by beautiful people… and making a difference.

I pour my heart and soul into what I do.  But the rewards of seeing how I am making a difference in the world, touching people’s lives, and encouraging them through the processes of life-  THAT is worth so much more than money.  I am so grateful.