I am happy to be home. And by home, I mean back in Ontario with my family. Although Nova Scotia will always be my home in the heartfelt geographic sense, my true home is anywhere that has my husband and kids. There is something so very special about how they fill me up, how they look at me with complete love (even while being the ones most likely to witness me at my best and worst), and how being away from them is accompanied by the feeling that a something is missing from inside of me.
These thoughts are coming on the tail end of a whirlwind long weekend in Nova Scotia. My three days there were action-packed, starting with my choice to stay with my sister (whose husband was away), and who has:
4-year old, curly-haired, expressive and artistic Josie;
2-year-old, never-stopping, always smiling, full of mischief Sammy;
and the newest addition: Beatrix Amy, my 3 month old namesake who may just be the easiest baby I can imagine.
We filled our time with family visits with my mom and dad, and several outings with my brother’s kids: my 2-year-old niece Lauren (who still plays a little shy with me – although it may be her dislike of cameras, which I often have close at hand – I feel I have to catch those extra-cute moments when I can get them!) and her baby brother Zachary, who rivals Baby Bea for being the easiest baby around. (And part of me wonders: Why didn’t I get to experience what an ‘easy’ baby was with my own?! )
During our brief time together we played at playgrounds, went for walks and bike rides, swam in a friend’s idyllic backyard pool, had a picnic and swim at the site of our future family cottage, and spent a morning playing and exploring on the Halifax waterfront. All of this peppered with great food, family BBQs, quick visits with friends and making the most of my three days of nourishing my Nova Scotian roots.
Suffice it say, my weekend was full and wonderful, but certainly not restful.
The best of it all is that I ‘got my fix’ – both of my very missed nieces and nephew, and of the relaxed and beautiful pace of Nova Scotia. (And of my sister, parents, and brother too!… but they aren’t quite cute enough as grown ups to factor into the ‘missing-ness’ as much)
But what hit home (excuse the pun) was the sense I had when my plane was landing. There is great contrast in the natural beauty I see out of the window when flying over the East Coast and flying over the sprawling mass that is Toronto (although it, too, has a different kind of beauty) The sense was that of moving towards what I love. My family: Dean, Ethan and Audra.
When I got home Monday night, Ethan and Audra were fast asleep. So I tiptoed into their rooms (had a chuckle at seeing pictures of me beside Audra on her bed), and kissed my kids, spending a few minutes just looking at them while they slept. Just seeing them filled me up. I was complete again.
Even better was waking them the next morning – both times to be wonderfully rewarded by the instant transition from sleepy eyes to shear joy at seeing me. Amidst ecstatic cries of “Mom!” and tight hugs, I was home again. I must agree – it truly is where your heart is.